Tuesday, December 01, 2015

Brad Paisley: Social Scientist

I like Brad Paisley and the song Online: You probably never heard of him. Some of  lyrics to "online" are as follows:

I work down at the pizza pit
And I drive an old Hyundai
I still live with my mom and dad
I'm 5'3 and overweight

I'm a Sci-Fi fanatic
Mild asthmatic
Never been to 2nd base
But there's a whole nother me
That you need to see
Go check out MySpace

'cause online I'm out in Hollywood
I'm 6'5 and I look damn good
I drive a Maserati
I'm a black belt in Karate
And I love a good glass of wine

It turns girls on that I'm mysterious
I tell 'em I don't want nothing serious
'cause even on a slow day I can have a three way
Chat with two women at one time

I'm so much cooler online
So much cooler online

I get home, I kiss my mom
And she fixes me a snack
I head down to my basement bedroom

And fire up my Mac

You get the drift. This guy lives in a fantasy world in which he is a star. Sound familiar? Well let's change a few words and see how law professors have built a similar fantasy world. Just sing it to the tune of "Online."

I work at the law school.
I drive a sensible car
I'm a big deal in the sec pool
I scoff at being member of the Bar.

I am a Harvard fanantic
A little out of shape
Often feel I am taken for granted
But there's a whole nother me
Check my law School bio
And you will agree

cause in my head I am so intellectual
I'm well known and influential
People consult me at the highest levels
My work is so important
Excuse me I'm off the to airport. 

My articles are read by everyone 
Especially students when I test on them
I know others read it too
Or at least I claim they do.

I am so much more important in my head
Partly because I am so well bred.

I have no sense of humor.
My irreverence  is nil.
I love a juicy rumor.
No courts ever cite me
But  I am important still.

In the real song,  opposed to this admittedly pathetic attempt at satire (not parody, a different thing), it goes on and on to explain with great insight how people lose sight of where they are in the scheme of things and take the "self justification" remedy. 

Brad Paisley -- keen observer of the fantasy life. 


Michael Risch said...

Don't dis him just because you are dissing law professors! He's actually pretty famous...

Jeffrey Harrison said...

No dissing at all. I like him and his music.

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Rafael said...

Do professors still brag about the law schools they went to? I feel like it would seem pretty blatantly egotistical to do that.

And do you think there is any sort of value derived from ivy league or other super prestigious schools? It seems like you think it's mostly a status symbol, which I mostly agree with. But do you think it connotes anything more?

Jeffrey Harrison said...

Of course they brag but they do it by just mentioning casually. It amounts to nothing. The biggest failures often come from the most elitist backgrounds.

Brad Paisley songs said...

Good singer. My favorite song Working On A Tan