A colleague of mine described law professors as "fussy." That's a great word. Basically it means hard to please. Fussy law professors want things like this:
1. I really must have my office repainted. Right now the light blue on the walls interferes with my scholarship.
2. When that visitor passed me in the hallway he only nodded hello. Shouldn't he have engaged me in a discussion of my work.
3. You cannot possible expect me to hold class on Mondays or Friday. Those are the day I write (at my condo at the beach).
4. The carpet in my office is getting a little dirty. I'll need to have the carpet replaced by hard wood floors. Otherwise I will have to write even less than I do now which will mean actually unwriting.
5. My office 30 feet from the nearest printer. Please have a new printer installed in my office.
6. I can't possibly be available to students after classes end and before exams. I need that time to write my exam and to spend time with my family.
7, If you make us offer a 7 semester JD/LLM program we will be demoralized. Please make a therapy dog available.
8, What, I have to share a secretary!? But my work is so important!
9. I cannot attend faculty lunches because some people there are not vegans and it offends me.
10. That painting on the third floor of Mother Teresa "concerns" me. To our students it could be seen as endorsing the possibility of a God.
11, Please arrange for me to attend the meeting by skype. I'll be home feeding my parakeet.
12. I'm deeply offended. The Dean did not mention me in her Twitter feed.
13. My classes must meet at 11 AM. Please do not schedule any other classes at that time.
14. I am offended. Not sure about what right now but I will think of something momentarily
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