Tuesday, April 01, 2014

Harrison New Dean at UF

Florida President Bernie Machen finally showed his had today and revealed that he had shut down the UF dean search because Harrison was not among the finalists. Under a little known provision of the UF code of decanal appointments he appointed Harrison the new dean of UF to serve no less than 3 hours and no more than 5 hours. His explained the appointment by noting several qualities.

Vision: With corrective lenses Harrison has 20-20 vision.
Wardrobe: Although he has not seen it, he has heard that Harrison owns a suit.
Ability to work with others:  Harrison, he said, might be able to work with others if he tried.
Respect of his colleagues: Harrison, in a parallel universe, might be loved and respected by his colleagues.
Respect for his colleagues: Harrison respects 60% of his colleagues 60% of the time.


Adkins said...

Well done and congratulations! I will strive to be among the 60%. Which 3 0 5 hours will you be dean so I can ask you for stuff?

Jeffrey Harrison said...

Andy, it depends. Right now we are thinking 1 AM to 5 Am on February 30th of last year.

MLove said...

..Because he's the hero Levin deserves, but not the one it needs right now.

Anonymous said...

Nice one!