Friday, December 14, 2012

Self Gifting for Law Professors

It's the time of the year to think about gifts. Who do Law Professors think about first when deciding who will get gifts and what those gifts will be. That is not a hard question. They think of themselves first. The harder question is what to give yourself. It's so hard to know exactly what to give the person you love the most. Consider me your personal shopper and I have a number of suggestions that will put a smile on your face when received from your loved one who, conveniently, turns out to be you.

1. A new vanity course. What is a vanity course? Its a course that is taught not for the students and not for the clients but because you think it would be fun (or at least easy.) Some of this year's favorites vanity courses are:
1. Let's go to the beach for a week over spring break. 1 credit.
2. Let's see how we are feeling right now by just thinking about it. 2 credits.
3. Wine law and the regulation of tastings: 2 credits, BYOB.
4. Justice (or What Just came into my head While Walking to Class) . 2 credits.
5. Ain't I great. 2 credits.

2.. A new teaching schedule. Yes, tell your dean that you want to teach one day a week even if it means teaching some courses concurrently. This is a gift that is as fun to give yourself as it is to receive.

3. National stature: Every tenure and promotion candidate I have ever heard described is been labeled "rising star" or "nationally known." Why shouldn't you have the same thing. For $20. I will write a letter to your dean describing you as a star, rising star or nationally known. And for a limited it only, I will post it on facebook.

4. The room you want when you want it. As a law professor you deserve respect. If a class is in session or taking a test in room you take a fancy to, throw them out.  This gift comes with a week off with pay.

5. A trip to Paris for the holidays. You can give yourself this and your school will pay. There is a conference there right now, Just figure it out or say you are on a research mission to study the informal law of street performers.