Bad Turkeys
1. Me. (for too many reasons to list but one of which is spending time doing this when I could be working)
2. Self Important Humorless Law Professors (OK, virtually all Law Professors but especially one up in the DC area) including those who think they are not humorless but whose humor only works to get nervous laughter at a faculty meeting.
3. Anyone using any of the following terms: share, reach out, civility, leadership, practice ready (EF, thanks on this one), thank you so much.
4. Any law professor who name drops in class, in conversations, or in email -- this includes dropping the name of any schools you went to.
5. Law Profs or administrators who catch administrativitus upon being appointed to any position of supposed importance. Administrativitus is a common affliction that involves lack of transparency, half truths, spinning numbers, lack of humility with respect to tasks they do not know the first thing about, ignoring emails, making decisions to preserve their positions, blah. blah.
6. Anyone who hints that someone else is a racist, sexist, drunk, or homophobic but cannot back it up.
7. Anyone who talks more that 1 minute in a faculty meeting.
8. Those who protect pet programs or their own authority to determine who is involved in those programs without considering the overall benefits to the school.
9. University Presidents who commission 90K searches for Law Deans when any group of 5 law professors could identify all likely candidates for $1.98.
10. A system of legal education that encourages everyone to write when 90% of what is written is useless, meaningless, and results in less student contact.
11. (Yes this top ten has 11 just like you know whose amplifier). Those nasty little petty people trolling the halls claiming to know things no one else knows.
12 (when 11 is not loud enough). Gutless law profs who never write anything down, never take a position based on right and wrong, and for whom life is a long term strategic negotiation about their own self interest.
Good Turkeys
1. Students who come to class ready to work.
2. Law faculty who stay in their offices other than to get a cup of coffee or take a short break.
3. The current Dean and Associate Dean at UF.
4. Committee members who say "I can do that."
5. Faculty teaching 200 students a year.
6. Faculty who write no more than an article every year or two.
7. Faculty who do not think a 50th ranked law schools should to the same things as a 10th ranked law school.
8. Those who let their work speak for itself as opposed to doing some work and then speaking on its behalf.
9. UF Law and Administrative and Secretarial Staff.
10, Eric Fink and Chris Sagers,
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