Wednesday, March 17, 2021

The Bill Barr School of Law School Deaning


BOOO Bill Barr, you unprincipled Trump sycophant. You rascal. All of us, (well  not all, there are a couple of numbskulls who admire you ) principled law professors and administrators think you are an awful example of the profession.

But wait Billy Boy! There is a job for you. It's even better than Trump University. You open a school for wannabe Law school administrations. You know, Bill, the number one goal  of any law school dean on the make is to climb the USnews ranking.

So that's what you teach. Some Units of the course would be:

1. Hire your own graduates to do something, anything, so you can report high post graduate employment rates.

2, Lower first year admissions but increase the number of transfers because the transfer LSAT and GPAs will not count against you.

3. Oh, what the hell. Just do what UF Law has perfected, However qualified a student, do not admit him or her unless he or she improves your ranking.

4, If a student is admitted and it looks like he or she, in hindsight, might lower your scores, pay them not to come.

5. Make sure all law school employees are called faculty. This will raise your teacher to student ratio.

6. Throw every cent you can get your grubby hands on to pay high scoring students to come to your school whether they need the money or not. 

7, And Bill, here is what you can bring to the course your specialty.  Just lie. What the fuck, you are not hurting anyone so it's not like a real lie.

But Bill, there is one catch,  All of these things have already been done. Yes by the same people who say that  you are the crook, not them.

So you will have to be imaginative. Your primary mission is to stay one scam ahead of what USnews is onto and cares about. This should be easy, They don't really care if they get it right as long as it sells,  

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